looking at all that chocolate by molly.s

When I am looking at all that chocolate through the window  it makes my mouth water”. Just one little pec” I thought. I tried to open the door and it was jammed. I heaved and heaved still nothing. I smashed the window and woke up Mrs.Daday the 96 year old. “whoops” as I was about to run off a golden chocolate bar was shirring towards me. I climbed through the window and grabbed the the chocolate bar shouted “sorry for waking you up Mrs.Daday”I grinned with joy.by now she is probably just got down stairs I ran out of there.  

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2 thoughts on “looking at all that chocolate by molly.s

  1. I thought your opening sentences were well chosen to grab the attention of the reader, I can completely imagine you having that “just one little peck” thought!
    Remember last time you were asked to check your punctuation? I am going to ask you to do that again this week, try to do it before you publish your work, you can always ask your talk partner to check your work for you. That will make a good piece of writing great!
    Enjoy your Easter break
    Miss T

  2. A lovely idea Molly, I can hear the excitement in your writing. Be careful with your typing to make sure that little mistakes don’t detract from the story. With the correct punctuation, the reader would be able to fully enjoy your great idea. I hope that you get lots of chocolate for Easter without having to chase it!

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