The moon mission by George M 100wc week 26

Wush went the rocket “ahah” screamed Taylor as he stared shuffling backwards   in his seat . Then before you could say chicken nuggets … Taylor was on the moon , so he hit the cd player and started to do the moon walk .He bumped into a turquoise alien . first Taylor fort it was a jelly baby then it screeched at him to calm him down I shoved a jam and ham sandwich in his mouth and he said my name is Tantobanto .then he said he had to go home.

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “The moon mission by George M 100wc week 26

  1. This starts off so brilliantly George! I love the actions you have put into the story. It falls down when the character is You rather than Taylor. I reckon with a few tweaks you could make it an even better piece!

  2. George,
    I agree with Mrs Skinner, there are a few things that need checking…..those full stops and capital letters again especially, I will be looking out for them next week!
    I also think it starts of so well, I really like the part ‘before you could say chicken nuggets…’ Your writing is just getting better and better!
    Miss T

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s