Jessie 100wc

As I woke up I saw a big round thing shaped as a ball. I went in there to have a look inside. When I was inside I saw some honey, lots and lots of honey and then there was a bee and I was really scared I just had to run out . The next day I woke up and I was in my bed I thought I was having a dream . I went down the stairs, I went outside and I saw it again. In 10 seconds the bees nest was going to explode 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1 it exploded!

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4 thoughts on “Jessie 100wc

  1. I like the stories ending because your story it ends with an exclamation mark. There’s just one thing you could improve – try not to use capital letters in the middle of the sentence. Good effort!

  2. This is Great, Jessie, you have left me with a cliff hanger- what happens next? , Do you survive? , Will you ever see anyone ever again? !!!!!!
    However, athough your punctuation was outstanding, you may have missed a couple of clause-marking commas.

    Altogether, a nice peice of writing.

    Well done Jessie.

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