100 word challenge: Mr Orangey Goes Surfing By Jennifer

Meet Mr Orangey the orange who lives by the seaside. This is the story of how a turtle saves his life.

One summer’s day, Mr Orangey decided to go surfing. He went to the surf club tent and brought a wetsuit, a surfboard and a life-jacket in case he kept falling off!

Very soon he was in the sea. Before long he was so good that he was very far out at sea. Unfortunately he fell off and his life-jacket slipped off his shoulders! He was about to drown when a funny turtle swam underneath him and rescued him. No one ever saw him again.

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3 thoughts on “100 word challenge: Mr Orangey Goes Surfing By Jennifer

  1. Hi Jennifer,
    You have an interesting idea that you have used to create your story but I think that you could improve it by adding connectives in your writing. Can you see how you have only used simple sentences which make it quite odd to read! Next time you need to work with your talk partner and ask them to read your writing to you, then you will be able to identify those parts of your writing that could be improved.
    Miss T

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