The poor mouse HL

This little orange mouse is running so he (for a mouse) doesn’t come a giant cat lunch, then the horrid cat lost the orange mouse. Suddenly he appeared but it just was a bowl of milk and the cat started to drink it. Five minutes later, the cat was sleeping then the orange mouse drop a hot kettle on the cat’s head. A funny thing (for a mouse) he waved to the cat and ran as fast as his little legs can go, he went outside on to the pavement. The orange mouse went in someone’s garden but the poor little mouse was gobbled up by a tortoise

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3 thoughts on “The poor mouse HL

  1. Oh dear! What a disastrous ending for the mouse! You had lots of action in your writing this week, although some of your ideas were a little tricky to follow. Try reading back and you might spot an error or two, next time try to edit your work with your talk partner before you post it.
    Miss T

  2. What an interesting story you’ve written. I like how you’ve included some extra bits in brackets that really explain things to the reader. Such a shame (for the mouse) that he got eaten in the end!

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