Below the deep dark murky sky a sinister spine-chilling crocodile is chewing his prey, sucking on their fleshy bones and drinking their crimson blood. His name is Chris the crocodile He has a tail as ginormous as a giraffe’s neck that whacks the children outside the zoo gate with its stinger and WITH deadly poison it kills its prey. However if you come and visit your sure to have a nightmare. With its gruesome breath and stinky teeth you’re sure not to come and visit. Despite his breath he also has a cheeky grin. As he aggressively murders as time went by
- Comment
- Reblog
-
Subscribe
Subscribed
Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
Welcome to Horsebridge's blog 
I like your vocabulary but you have missed out some full stops so you need to check it.
From
Jennifer
hi holly
your story is very good because it makes sense from amelie
This is quite a character you have created here Holly. I love the cheeky grin. Have a look at the last couple of sentences. i think there is a rogue comma there & a missing full stop!
Fantastic story Holly, I loved the description and detail. You have certainly improved your writing skills. Mrs W
Hi Holly, Your story was really good. I like your discriptive words it makes your story very interesting. Perhaps you could get someone to check your work before publishing it as you have missed out some punctuation. Keep up the good work. I will look forward to your next story.
Pingback: Congratulations to Holly | stockbridgec
Hi Holly i think your story is one of the best ones that i read on the blog just a bit of punchuation missing. Well done!
Holly i like your story because you described your animal . from oliver
Well done holly you have discribed your animal.
J.McA